Christmas season
old cycle
poverty recycled
Poor me
cant be freed
boohoo
Too broke for destiny
that the test to be
or maybe no reason
just punishment
For my treasons
i dont know
gettin hard to not care
carefree me
always worrying about money
barely born
a low class hippy
Scrapin thru
Fuckin’ christmas poverty
Cant afford to hang
Cant afford to bang
Broke and broken yeah
Dreamin’ is expensive
Daydreamin’ excessive
Broke and breaking oh yeah
Like a broken record player
This song repeats on shuffle
Broke broke broken oh yeah
Dont wanna hear it anymore
Cant take it anymore
Break break breaking on yeah
please lord
Gimme some money
Give me a door
Break me out
Break me more
Broke break breaking oh yeah
Something to live for
A life worth dying
Evermore
Give me a break
No more breaking
Nevermore
Sinking Depression
Hopelessness and chains
Shit never changing
For the better
Its cold out
and inside
Roller coaster
Goin down
Down and out
Wanna break free
Be able to start again
without end
seems these dim dreams
are simply pretend
Dont know how to begin
While stuck in
The long loop
Mall patrollin
Late night
Flashin lights rollin’
southside to the westside
In a truck ridin
High as fuck
Suck my dick
Gettin by in flying style
With a little luck
I’ll get by
Ducking and dodgin’
For a couple miles
tales from the security files
Nightlife knife fights
high as fuck and feeling right
white light and green weed
big booties and fat blunts
thats all daddy wants
thats all this nigga need
flexin might
planting seeds
sharp blades
big guns
dynamite dick
pimp shit
Knights code
J-hard
Big chode
Kill a deuce and discard
drive away in a fast car
bitch im goin far
Ridin in a metaphor
starlight shingin bright
In the black lights
Broke and broken
Workin another dead end
no pretending
im stuck
Fucked
Limited and restricted
Prayin these chains
Be lifted
Til then im sifting
Treasure from garbage
in another daze work
not a whole lot
of other ways
quarter thru my full time days
Nickels and dimes
always
Almost filled this book
Hopefully these are some of the last entries
From the mall
Looking for other jobs
Kinda hard Without
gas money and reliable transportation
so im stuck here Again
Drinkin cheap beer
smokin my brand
got no muse
Got no money
no home
To call my own
aint had much
but a bitter ass touch
Of the consuming world
of poverty
Have so much to express
little time and a lot of stress
Dress it up
in pretty lies and half smiles
Been awhile
Since ive been off
tribulations trying trials
Free of fucked fate
Oh well
Still will and do dare
break the broke pieces towards
Art from adversity
Got overdrafted today
twice in two weeks
get money
lose money
Fuck!
I should be sadder
Shit like this stackin up
cuts deep
When ya aint got much
tryin to brush it off
stay focused and optimistic
though life has me
tested and molested
still got mopey hope
faith in me
and gods destiny
just would be nice
to have a lil money
Got no place to be
‘cept for here
right now
free as can be…
But i guess thats a lie
Trying to make money
20 dollar highs
at this dead end job
So its back to patrolling
This full time hour
this mall lot location
Til someday
Someway find a better vocation
Few more cages
Chains of unchanging
rusted in the winter frost
dust covered antique dreams
comin at high costs
Few more locked doors
whole lot more chores
rooted in blossomed poverty
crusty old schemes
to be free
Few more days
to rearrange my daze
getting near the end
of this book
of this year
of this long road
path is nearin a bend
signs say another crossroad
a split between
reality and pretend
been living in a daydream
now all i want
Is the day
fantasy to reality dreaming
Seen so many faces
crowded spaces
chasin’ the dream
pacing thru schemes
lost in the blur
pot stirring
almost to a boil
stews nearly spoiled
but everyones so hungry
soup smells spicy
very nice and salty
Slightly dicey
might get get sick
but fuck it
CJT 